The Miter Touch : Shopper Strikes Gold

By Madcap Mary

When I reorganized my husband's closet last fall I discovered that he had squirreled away nineteen plaid shirts -- enough to outfit the entire cast of "Brigadoon." There they hung, the Shirts of Christmas Past -- in mint condition, still bearing their original labels.

It was an impressive selection-everything from Walter Matthau grumpy old goat shirts to the Rugged Guy Outdoor Collection from Bart's Short and Stout Shop to some classic Eddie Bauers.

I immediately phoned my mother with the news of my discovery and to tell her she must never again give the gift of plaid. It was good to have someone to blame.

I vowed my next gift to my husband would be as far removed from a plaid shirt as I could get.

My husband had hinted about a miter saw for years. He was the only guy at work who didn't have one and had taken a lot of kidding from people who consider a miterless man at a par with pond scum.

Even though I had no idea what a miter saw was, what it looked like, or what it did (and I didn't really want to know) I figured I owed it to my husband to at least investigate.

And investigate I did.

I checked out The History of Mitering from the library, reading it on the sly. I spent hours in Sears, perused articles in This Old House to see what my husband's hero "Nahm" Abram was using and poured over Lou Manfredini's Mr. Fix-It book.

Online I found a plethora of miter saws. Even Amazon sells them and you can bid on antique miters on eBay. The best selection (and I'm not being paid to say this) is at cornerhardware.com.

Anyway, in less than a week I accumulated a pickup load of miter saw material -- stuff about throat plates, extension wings, pre-indexed stops, common cuts, uncommon cuts, amps and rpms, and horizontal handles that prevent fatigue.

None of it made any sense nor was it remotely interesting. One thing was for sure, though, when the miter saw came to live with us I mustn't go near it. Miters are dangerous! You just look at one the wrong way and it will snap your leg off!

In the final phase of my pre-purchase frenzy I began stopping total strangers on the street and asking them how they felt about miter saws.

"We are up to our coffered ceilings in home improvement projects," I explained. "Will a miter saw pay its own way? What brand is the best?"

People don't take kindly to odd women questioning them about power tools so I turned my attention to friends and family.

Mother knew zip about miter saws, but she told me about a plaid shirt sale at L.L. Bean. One girlfriend asked if miter had anything to do with metric.

It was my son Pete who finally put my doubts about miter saws to rest by uttering one magic phrase- "crown molding."

My whole life I've dreamed of owning crown molding! What girl hasn't?

Pete explained that not only can a miter saw make nifty crown molding it turns out great baseboards and corners too! It all has something to do with 45-degree angles. Somehow during my exhaustive research I'd missed that point. I guess I was too focused on color choices and decorative handles.

So I surprised my husband with a ten-inch miter saw for his birthday. It's the best gift I've ever given him. This useful and attractive tool (it's teal blue) has greatly enhanced our lives and opened up whole new vistas in home remodeling. Now everything my husband touches turns to wood!

Biographical Sketch - Mary Mendoza

Madcap Mary Mendoza, formerly known as Hurricane Mary, lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband, son, three cats and 200,000 Sunset magazines.

Madcap's humor columns and feature stories have appeared in publications around the Northwest as well as online. She is the author of The Adventures of Madcap Mary, a collection of humorous stories. Madcap can be reached at mcmendoza@ispiral.com. Visit Madcap's site! http://www.madcapmary.com.